Coming Soon: Benjamin Lindsay's Own Site,
BenjaminLindsay.com
Ninja by day, serious student and cellist by night. Who knows the mysteries of Benjamin Lindsay?
Could these be some of Benjamin Lindsay's recent accomplishments?
- Cured a rare form of liver cancer using botanical extracts obtained from the fungus that grows on the side of a railway tie near his home.
- Invented super small nanotech attack robots that, like a fast-moving swarm of invisible bees, can fight off enemies, knocking them over without any visible clue about what hit them. This can help you get through lines at East High School more easily.
- Invented a machine that washes your socks one fiber at a time using a small amount of continuously recycled water, using the energy created by walking, so you never have to change you socks.
- Solved the problem of asbestos in schools and reduced the risk of asbestos lawsuits by using recombinant DNA to produce mutant super-squirrels that eat asbestos and convert it into harmless non-carcinogenic squirrel droppings. Now there will be few asbestos cancer patients, few asbestos lawsuits, and fewer attorneys.
- Discovered an amazing virtually non-toxic chemical that can save millions of lives by eradicating mosquitos and sparing people all over the world from malaria. He calls it "DDT" and thinks it will be a big hit. Sounds like a fool-proof plan!